Get up only to fall back down again ~ The journey of following what God said

Let’s stop giving the enemy credit for the difficulties in life!

Yes, we are living in a world full of real and troublesome spiritual warfare but we why are we spending so much time analysing the enemy's movements rather than truly living out of the already won victory of Christ!

I’ve been reading through the book of Job lately, and this one thing has stuck out from the beginning… God allowed all of it to happen, He allowed the enemy to throw those fiery darts at Job because He knew Job’s heart for Him as the One True God. The only way you can praise God for His goodness in the victory is when you can still see His goodness in the difficulty. What if some of the difficulties you're facing aren't from the enemy trying to get you down but from God showcasing Himself and your one and only saviour.

“But ask the animals, and they will teach you,
or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you;
or speak to the earth, and it will teach you,
or let the fish in the sea inform you.

Which of all these does not know
that the hand of the Lord has done this?
In his hand is the life of every creature
and the breath of all mankind."
Job 12vs7~10

I went through what most people would call a ‘desert’ season all throughout the pandemic. It was a very real and very long trial of trying to figure out who I was, what I was doing and where my life was going. But as I look back, I see that even though it looked from the outside like I was in a desolate place, I had made my way to the watering hole of my Heavenly Father and I was being filled by Him in the middle of the desert, I had decided to stay near the living water and risk looking like I was not moving forward so that I could stay and be filled until He said I was ready to move on.

"Jesus replied, “If you only knew the gift God has for you and who you are speaking to, you would ask me, an I would give you living water.”
“But sir, you don’t have a rope or a bucket,” she said, “and this well is very deep. Where would you get this living water? And besides, do you think you’re greater than our ancestor Jacob, who gave us this well? How can you offer better water than he and his sons and his animals enjoyed?”
Jesus replied, “Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again. But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.”
John 4vs10~13

I was just spending a little longer getting refreshed from my thirst and exhaustion than the others. The world around me was bare and empty, but I was being refreshed on the inside.

I could’ve looked at it and wondered why the water wouldn’t take the desert away. But I knew that's not how it works, I had to stay in the desert until I was strong enough to walk out of it. And I knew I wouldn’t be strong enough until I drank from the living water.

The thing about walking out of the desert is that there are lots of directions to go in, but if you don’t follow the one that was designed for you, you’re going to be walking in dissatisfaction and discomfort for a very long time, in fact, you might not even come out of that desert. Finding the mountaintop peak of a sand dune isn’t the aim. And yet that kind of flakey victory only brings you rolling down the sand again.

It’s hard, spending your entire life working towards one thing only for that to slip through your fingers. For me, it was a career as a professional ballet dancer in London. But as quickly as I got it, it fell away. I waited and wondered, dreamt and desired. But was never able to hold onto the next road with confidence that it was for me. Until things fell into place. You see, we can spend all the time we want seeking dreams and desires. It if we’re not seeking Him first, if we’re not sitting by the watering hole refreshing our souls - the ebb and flow of life will always appear like an attack. Because there will always be opposition, trials and strife. We’ll keep hitting walls and we’ll keep getting hurt. That’s life on earth. It’s only when we start seeking him that the true plans reveal themselves and lay their road out at your feet.

We must stop worshipping the way our lives are going or not going, good or bad, and simply keep our eyes on the one. We must stop praying ourselves out of the desert and start praying for the watering hole in the desert. If we’re plucked out of the desert, well never be strong enough for the road designed for us, but if we endure the desert, we’ll grow in the strength to walk through anything else. We also need to stay at the water long enough to absorb water for the weary walkers beside us, it's not enough to fill up and run ahead. We are designed to strengthen those around us along the journey too!

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
Romans 15vs13

I filmed a piece which I've gone onto call ‘Get up only to fall back down again’. It’s a piece that resembles the desert time in my own life. Where I could’ve tried to pick myself up and strive for the worlds success, but instead I followed the way He had written for me. It didn’t make sense but every time I fell into doubt, He told me to get back up and dance again. So I did. And when I fell back down in exhaustion, he told me to get back up and dance again. I'm a creative and it was a season of learning to present my true creativity to the world, a creativity that stemmed from where I was. It wasn't a time of trying to fight off where or how the enemy was trying to stop my future becoming real, but me needing to humble myself to need God as my Lord and Saviour!

And that’s what the last couple years looked like for me. No, it wasn’t always consistent spiritual warefare! It was me going through the stages of learning to trust His timing, His provision and His strength and not my own. Learning to trust what my voice was and what the right choice to make was. Very often, it looked like I was going nowhere, but He was building me. Always building me. There were times when I was too tired to stand up, so I did floor work. He told me to dance, so even when I was tired ~ I kept dancing!

And I’m not there yet, the adventure hasn’t even started yet, but I am walking in the absolute JOY of knowing that my life has been accounted for in His books. That nothing is wasted and everything can be counted as a blessing. Because when you’re near to Him, it’s only Him that will plant the seeds in your heart of where you should be going and only Him that will open the doors to let you get there.

Let this inspire you that your ‘fall down’ isn’t a failure or a mistake but sometimes a way to bring you to a place where you have no choice but to receive rest from the rock you find at the bottom! Sometimes you’re too tired to stay up, so you just stay down. And that’s ok, because there's no mountain top or valley low that He can not find you in! I always remember hearing Brian Johnson from Bethel music saying that even when you don't know what to do, just keep doing the last thing God told you to do until He tells you otherwise! And I love that! Even if you fall down doing it, keep doing what God said and keep listening to His voice!

"My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me."
John 10vs27

~ X ~